Authentic love is without condition, without judgment, without attachments and without expectations. Everything is perfect when you accept the imperfections. It is only when you love yourself without conditions that you can experience authentic love, which then allows your inner being to feel safe.
When we believe perfection means being worthy….. and being worthy means being accepted…. and being accepted means we belong… and belonging makes us feel loved…. and feeling loved makes us feel protected….. then perfection means we are safe. When we strive for perfection, we are creating a place of safety within our belief system so we can feel protected in an uncertain and sometimes cruel and unaccepting world.
We believe love is based on conditions. If we can meet those conditions, we believe we have earned love. We may not feel authentic love, but we feel safe. If we can protect ourselves from the judgment of others and maintain the conditions required to feel accepted, then we feel we can be loved. This is not authentic love. This is love accepted by the ego. This love is not what the soul is calling for. The soul only knows authentic love.
The ego is satisfied with feelings of safety and a sense of love through feelings of acceptance and belonging, even though these feelings are created through a false sense of love. When we have not experienced authentic love from birth, then we long for something that brings us those feelings of acceptance, belonging, and safety.
When we are conditioned to believe that perfection will bring us closer to love and we continuously fight for that perfection, our soul is suffering the authentic love it craves. As we continuously strive for this perfection, the ego falsely creates a sense of authentic love. This causes a conflict with our spiritual need for authentic love.
Striving for perfection puts a heavy burden on the heart because of deep fear that we will lose our acceptance if we do not live up to the world’s standards of perfection, which then threatens our safety.
We struggle to present to the world our perfectness including perfection in the roles we play in this life. Whatever we produce must also be perfect in order for us to feel accepted, including the production of the perfect children, thereby creating the perfect family for the world to admire. If the world admires what we have produced, then the world admires who we are, then our world has accepted us, then we belong…. and then we feel loved, and therefore, we feel safe. Whenever something threatens our presentation of perfection, we go into fear mode because our safety is being compromised.
Authentic love is not familiar to our ego programming. The ego forms attachments to the very things that make us feel safe. We feel safe with familiarity. We feel safe when we belong. We feel safe when we feel accepted. When we feel accepted, we feel loved. This is love by condition. This is the false love the ego has become attached to. The ego fights to keep its place of power within you. It is only through acceptance of authentic love that you can restrain this powerful beast and create the balance necessary to live freely and authentically, without the conditions imposed by the ego. Fear keeps the ego in power. The ego is working to protect the beliefs you hold about yourself and your environment. When you live in fear, you feed the ego power. When you live with authentic love, you keep the ego in balance.
To feel authentic love, we must release the attachments. We must release the need to feel accepted by others under their terms and conditions. Authentic love has no conditions. We must first connect to the authentic love within our soul. Allow that authentic love to emerge from within you so it can defeat the power of the ego and bring a sense of well-being and balance into your life.
Although this authentic love is unfamiliar which may cause a sense of fear, it is the only love that is real and not falsely created by the ego. When you release the false perceptions of what you believe love to be, you will live a more harmonious life not only within yourself but within your environment. When you are willing to allow authentic love and ego to reside within you in a balanced state, then you are free from the fear of imperfection and you set yourself free from the burdens of continuous longing for acceptance. When you allow yourself to become familiar with authentic love, you are allowing a true sense of acceptance and belonging to occur.
If you have made yourself the victim of required perfection because another has placed this burden upon you, it is up to you to release that false identity and allow authentic love to emerge from within you. If you are allowing others to blame you for your imperfections, then you are choosing to be held in victimhood. You are attached to the feeling of acceptance under the conditions of another, providing you with a false sense of love through feelings of belonging and safety.
Authentic love will only emerge when you stop allowing the ego to suppress it. If the ego is controlling you by its insistence that real love which makes you feel safe is only reached through perfection, then you are suppressing the soul’s desire to express authentic love. We are living in a society that is predominantly controlled by ego. You are the only one that can stop suppressing that authentic love within you. It requires a taming of the ego through your inner awareness of your soul’s desires. You and your environment will be in a state of perfection when you accept all imperfections with authentic love.
In order to release your attachments to perfection, you will need to accept the ego with authentic love, knowing that the ego is actually trying to protect your conditioned beliefs. For a true release of your victimhood, you will need to forgive the people who have unknowingly placed the burden of perfection upon you. Forgive them for their fears. Forgive them for not knowing they were living a false sense of safety. Forgive them for not being able to recognize false beliefs inherited from the people they trusted most. Forgive them for not trusting authentic love out of fear of unfamiliarity. Forgive them for being attached to their victimhood and striving for perfection to feel accepted. Forgive them for not being strong enough to allow authentic love to conquer the powerful ego. Forgive them for not being able to accept and love all parts of themselves unconditionally, including the protective ego side. Forgive them as they are only capable of doing the best they can for what they have been instructed by their primary belief system.
Most importantly, you must forgive yourself. Forgive yourself for unknowingly becoming the victim of another’s false identity and inability to move beyond the ego. Forgive yourself for placing the heavy burden of perfection upon yourself. Forgive yourself for allowing the ego to steal your joy and not trusting your soul’s calling for authentic love. Forgive yourself for your attachments to the ego based conditional love and fear of not belonging. Forgive yourself for not being perfect, knowing that you are perfectly imperfect. Forgive yourself for not knowing that you hold inside of you an authentic love that represents the essence of your soul.